this was from a while ago ….. last week maybe …..
As a multi-tasking mommy (not to mention, wife, sibling, friend, grandchild, in-law, daughter, woman) there are always choices or decisions or actions to make/take …..
– Do I blow dry my hair this morning or spend an extra 10 minutes cuddled up with the kid?
– Should I pick up chinese after work or can we eat canned/frozen food again?
– Do you think anyone will notice I’m wearing the exact same outfit as last Monday (it’s Thursday)?
– Should I answer that call or let it go to voicemail?
– If I eat the last tagalong girl scout cookie, who really gets hurt?
And then there’s the tough questions (though the cookie one deserves some serious consideration) like Did I really need to say that? Is that really up to me? Am I actually in charge of that? Why did I/didn’t I do that?
It’s like this nonstop barrage of things to do. I read an article (yep, another one) that said that people (well okay, I’m sure it said WOMEN as it was most likely a woman’s magazine) have to make somewhere in the range of over a thousand decisions a day. Think about it. What time to get up, when to get ready, what to eat for breakfast, whether you put gas in the car or not, if you should stop at the gas station or can squeak by on the gas you have, buy or make your lunch, where is your purse/wallet/keys/phone – and you haven’t even left the house yet.
But a lot of these things, though you do make a choice/decision/action, you don’t really think about – it’s just part of a routine you’ve been doing in some fashion forever.
These choices and choosings multiply exponentially when you have a child. Then it’s like all of that stuff – did you do/what did you decide – stuff becomes concrete. Because it impacts not just you – and hey if you screw up a decision, or forget something, you can go with the flow – but it impacts your kid in a myriad of ways. So then we (or maybe it’s just me) get locked into this mode of always being “on”. You have to look at every decision, ponder every perspective and then think what if this, then this, then this and what about that.
Does it necessarily get you the best decision? Sometimes, but I would hazard a guess that all it really does in the end is make you tired.
Last night, after spending the weekend stymied as to how to get my house in any kind of order, and doing more stewing and being pissed off about it than actually doing stuff, I found myself unable to “turn off” Two Cran-Cherry Cosmo’s later and a fab dinner of fresh-off-the grill steaks by my honey, I couldn’t relax or stop thinking to save my life. Finally, I plopped the kid on my shoulder and we laid on the couch and didn’t move until both of us passed out in oblivion.
Funny enough, someone just walked into my cubey and we chatted about always having a choice ….
Anyway, there’s still the big questions, the ones that circle in your head over and over again and you’re never quite sure that you made a good choice or that truly you had a choice in what you chose. Make sense?? So in my winding way, I’m thinking about the choices we make, and how to make better ones, and how sometimes the best choice is the one you’ve already made.
And PS – When you have to ask yourself if you should say that thing you are thinking – DON’T ….. a freebie from me to you, and yet another sorry to my hubby.
LN
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